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  Rites of Passage Institute

Building Sisterhood

10/2/2022

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Photo by Whitney Sheritta, ig chef.whitney

"I do my best because I’m counting on you counting on me.” Maya Angelou

“Friends who love you and have warmth for your creative life are the very best suns in the world.”
Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Women Who Run with the Wolves

Every year we pick a theme for the Pink Moon Bellydance Brunch & the Dancing Fire Circle Guided Discussion. This year the theme is Building Sisterhood. If there is a common thread that ties together all of what Rites of Passage Institute does, that is sisterhood. We are blessed with the bonds of sisterhood--Tribe! Tribe! However, to keep those bonds healthy and growing, we have to be intentional. We have to be intentional on an individual level, but also on a group level. Sisterhood takes constant nurturing and building, especially in this society.

Our experiences and stories are so deep and layered that two annual events really can't contain all that it takes to analyze and improve our relationships. Therefore, we didn't want the discussion to stop at these events. We want the discussion to continue beyond the Dancing Fire Circle & Bellydance Brunch and to invite others into it. This is the space for that! Below are the Keys to Sisterhood that are being discussed (it is a working list). These keys are based on African Womanism & Spirituality. Feel free to drop your comments, suggestions, questions, stories and more below. Rites of Passage Institute offers many opportunities to strengthen sisterhood within your own groups and with us. Check out:
Henna Party
Hennaglyphics
Sip & Steam Party
The Journey Within
Pink Moon Bellydance
The Blessing Way
The Queen Mother Ceremony
Moontracking
The Yoniverse
Yoni Eggs
​and more...

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Shemora Sheikh, Bianqa Bizune of Yoga Monarch.... Photo by Whitney Sheritta, ig chef.whitney

Keys to Building Sisterhood

(a working list)
  1. Honor your mother: have a healthy relationship with your mother. Heal your mother wound. Mother yourself.
  2. Women need women. Acknowledge that you need other women in your life.
  3. Let go of any toxic thinking about women.
  4. Be happy for other women. Remember that you don’t have to dim someone else’s light for yours to shine brightly.
  5. Speak life over each other. Inspire other women to be confident about themselves.
  6. Be easy on yourself, so you can be easy on others
  7. Encouraging one another in your higher selves
  8. Pray for your sisters. Pray together.
  9. Love each other for the sake of Love/Sisterhood
  10. Be genuine
  11. Real friends don’t just comfort each other, they nurture each other. The difference between comfort and nurture is this: If there is a plant that is sick because it is kept in a dark closet, and you say soothing words to it, that is comfort. If you take that plant out of the closet and put it in the sun, water it, and talk to it, that is nurture.
  12. Listen to what other women have to say.
  13. Stand up for each other.
  14. Do not hold grudges.
  15. Minimize trauma bonding.
  16. Create safe space for your unfiltered truth.
  17. Identify your biggest needs first. Are you in school and need someone to commiserate with over exams? Are you a newlywed and need some “wife advice”? Are you a mommy with a hard-to-handle teen? What is it that you need out of your friendships? That’s where you need to start looking.
  18. Don’t wait until you need your support system to go about creating one.
  19. Reach out. Be open to people who don’t think exactly like you and who don’t act exactly like you. The loud woman with the big laugh? Just might be the girlfriend you need.
  20. Follow up. This is where most people fall short, because they’re afraid of being vulnerable and letting people know they’d like to make a connection. But if you want a healthy, vibrant support system, following up is a must! It lets people know you’re open for a connection and if they felt any type of spark (why this sound like dating), you’ll be good to go! But if you’re too afraid of rejection and stuck in fear, then you’ll never get the sisterhood you crave.
  21. Let them love you. This might be the hardest step of all, because again, it’s hard to be vulnerable in front of people for fear that they can take what they know (your secrets!) and hurt you. When I was having marital troubles last year, I didn’t want my friends to judge me silently or to roll their eyes at my petty problems. But I had to take that risk if I wanted support. And being able to cry while your friends calmly and softly tell you that everything will be okay? That is priceless.
  22. Keep climbing and doing your thing, but commit to this concept: I will lift while I climb.
  23. Courtesy in serving
  24. The Rights of a Sister over another sister: to greet each other with positivity, accept invitations, when she seeks counsel give it, if she is ill visit, etc
  25. Guard Sacred Women Only Space.

"Every daughter of God is a spark of light, and when we gather together at the end of time, all of our sparks will illuminate the World to Come." Nomi Eve

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Shemora Sheikh & Iris (IG: bundlesofiris, she makes fabulous earrings) pictured. Photo by Whitney Sheritta, ig chef.whitney
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Womens Rites of Passage: The Mother

3/31/2021

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Pictured is Adenike of F.L.Y.A. Herbs. F.L.Y.A. provides candles, bath salts, tea, and more!! Catch her on Instagram IG at flya_herbs! https://www.instagram.com/flya_herbs/
We go through many Rites of Passages: baby, girl, maiden, mother, crone. Much of my work lately has been in the mother stage. Many people ask me if I'm a doula. I'm not a certified doula, though I come from a family of birth workers. My mother is a certified doula, my sister is a licensed certified lactation consultant. Me, I take care of the spiritual educational aspect of the mother phase. Honestly, I just love attending births. I cry at every wedding and I cry at every birth. Lol!

I also understand that women are the foundation of society, of family. Spirituality and sisterhood is what supports us under that pressure. Spirituality and sisterhood empower and nurture us so we can be strong and healthy. And in turn our families (children & partners) can be strong and healthy, which means we can actually get free and reach our highest potentials. Which ultimately means Happiness and Balance. See, its all part of the divine master plan. ;)
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We are in the midst of a sisterhood  renaissance. People are awakening and realizing the value of sisterhood--of women caring for women. In the face of the maternal health crisis, postpartum depression, & infant health care problems, we are standing up and saying, "enough!" 

So as people increasingly call upon Rites of Passage Institute, I realize the importance and seriousness of my role. When I care for a woman, I speak life over her to contribute to her wholeness and to strengthen her in her new role. I know that because of this she can be a better woman, a better wife, better mother--that she can smoothly transition. I work to connect us to the Creator Source, to our roots and to educate and empower.

To ease the way into Motherhood, Rites of Passage Institute offers:

1. Moontracking
2. The Yoniverse
3. Original Birth (Child Birth Education Classes)
​4. The Blessingway
5. The Queen Mother Ceremony
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The Blessingway Ceremony occurs in the last trimester of pregnancy. Childbirth is an "open" experience. Labor is about opening; opening physically, opening emotionally and opening spiritually. The Blessingway helps to ease the opening. Just as a tree grows best when firmly anchored in the earth, so can a pregnant mother feel strong and capable when supported by a sisterhood of nurturing friends.

The Blessingway can include:
  • Creating Sacred Space: Smudging, Alter/Musala
  • Womb Prayer/Blessing/Chant
  • Blessing Beads (waistbeads or necklace)
  • Candle Blessing
  • Water Flow
  • Tribal Face Paint
  • Belly Henna
  • Bellydance
  • Fear Release
  • Herbal Foot Bath: Washing of the feet 
  • Tea Time w/Stories

The Queen Mother Ceremony (Referred to as The Closing of the Bones (Al Shedd), The Sealing Ceremony, or Mother Roasting) occurs after the birth/labor. Once the baby is born, the body requires closing (the bones) or sealing it. The body requires bringing ‘chi’ or ‘prana’ back to the center channels; the energetic space at our core that we once shared with a baby. Our bodies must rebalance as that which was full is now empty and that which was shared can find its own rhythm again.  It’s about finding restoration again, rebalancing and honoring your body, so you can get back to Queening in full effect!
​

The Queen Mother Ceremony Includes:
  • Smudging (i.e. sage, copal, frankincense)
  • Floral Bath, Vaginal Steam, or Herbal Foot Bath
  • Oil Rub Down
  • Tucking (placing hot flax seed or rice bags around the body) & Closing
  • Binding & Blessing
  • Presenting Waist Beads
  • Tea Time w/Stories
  • Henna w/Stories
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I have to say that I'm so grateful to the amazing families that I have served. There is a time that I thought that Rites of Passage Institute would die, that there was no place in Modern Society for my role. We had become so disconnected from our roots, our traditions, our elders--from each other. There is so much suffering when we are isolated. Together we are strong. Knowing how delicate my position is in a Modern Westernized society, I am so humble that people still see the value & wisdom in our indigenous culture--in my role as Curator of the Feminine Arts. With Humble Gratitude! Ase!
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Girls Rites of Passage

12/31/2020

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Cant explain what an honor it was to be part of my nieces Rites of Passage Celebration. It is my sacred duty to stand by my sisters & help 2 prepare our youth. Ase!
A rites of passage helps give a child the tools to advance to the next stage, reinforces their connection to the community, creates a network, preserves our traditions/culture...
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Rites of Passages are not just about a change in one's age, but preparing the person for the next phase of life and to partake in society life as a whole being. Rites of Passage Institute has been facilitating Rites of Passages for boys, girls, adults for 10 years. 

Boys Rites of Passage
Girls Rites of Passage
​

If you are interested in our Rites of Passage Programs please click the links listed above. The girls rites has 3 levels including the 1st Moon Ceremony (the onset of monarch or 1st period). We recommend the Moontracking Class for girls who have started menstruating. The boys rites has 3 levels. Get a birds eye view of the levels HERE. The Adult Mentorship Programs (Women's Reflection, Men's Pillar) will be available in 2022.

#motherdaughter #ourgirlsmatter
#auntielife #auntielifeisthebestlife
#ritesofpassageinstitute #tribeneuro
#queenvibes #princess2queen
#indigochild #crystalchild #worthy
#royaltysquad #ourchildrenareourfuture
#proudauntie
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Full Moon Ceremony

11/24/2020

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The Dancing Fire Circle is a FREE annual Full Moon Ceremony that Rites of Passage Institute does in collaboration with I am Freedoms Drum. The purpose is for women to bond and release. The event is attended by women usually from 20s -70s and is led by an elder. We bellydance, meditate, place our crystals by the fire, share poetry & stories, share stories of survival and forgiveness, set intentions, eat, hookah, sing, chant, light sparklers, candles, sage, etc. 

The Dancing Fire Circle takes place every Fall, but we have other Moon Ceremonies in the Spring (May 26, 2021) and Summer. If you want to attend you must RSVP and gain clearance HERE. If you want to lead an activity,  perform, or have a food truck please contact us at admin@passageinstitute.com or 1-877-570-3108. Spread Lunar Love xoxo!
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Polaroid Pal: Young Entrepreneur Rising

11/17/2020

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Our son started a new business this summer!! His business is called Polaroid Pal. He's been an avid collector of vintage cameras for years, but Polaroid Pal started when he came across an old school Polaroid Camera in pristine condition at the thrift store. It cost $30 and I was skeptical if we could operate it, get film, or if it would work at all! But he looked at me with those deep brown eyes, so we got it. It has been such a blessing! During a time that many children were dealing with isolation, consuming unprecedented amounts of screen time, and disruption of education, our son, ahumdilAllah, was building a business. We are so proud of him. 

So what is Polaroid Pal? Basically, he takes people's picture with his Polaroid camera in Downtown Durham Friday & Saturday afternoons. 
It's so much more than that though. With Downtown Durham recently becoming a hub for social activism art, outdoor dining, and more as it struggles to reopen, Polaroid Pal has been able to provide a safe outlet for our son, for others, and capture this unique period of time. Every Friday and Saturday our son jumps up, is meticulous about his hair and clothes being professional and how he packs and cares for his equipment. We love that he his spending time outdoors in the sun, fresh air, and keeping his body active. With the help of his Aunt Angela he has created an Excel Spreadsheet to manage his earnings, expenses,  and profits. He is thinking of ways to invest his money. He is challenging himself by building up his confidence, learning how to talk to people, and thinking of ways to expand and market his business. He has leveled up.

We are very grateful to businesses like Exotique Boutique and many other downtown businesses that have been supporting and cheering our son on. Thank you!!

Entrepreneurship is an enriching experience for children. I'm excited about what businesses our other 2 starseeds will come up with. Meanwhile, please drop our son a word of encouragement below and like his FB page Polaroid Pal HERE.
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Lapas: Men's Loungewear

11/17/2020

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Lapas are the ultimate loungewear. However, they are more than just loungewear. You can go from chillin to business meeting with a lapa. They can be casual comfort wear or be upscale wear of the finest cloth. Lapas also known as Izar (in Arabic) span across many cultures from Africa to Asia. Honestly, I think the kelt is a form of a lapa. 

My early introductions to the lapa were the brothers in my Muslim community and through my travels to Senegal and Pakistan. I first started sewing lapas for my husband and sons because the ones from other countries are often not big or long enough and have less fabric variety and quality. Before we knew it, we were swamped with orders AlhumdilAllah!

The lapa is an easy way for Muslim/African men to ensure modesty while praying (as it is not appropriate for Muslim men to pray in anything above his knee or with his navel exposed). The lapa is also a Sunnah (tradition), which  means the Prophet Muhammad (saw) wore it. My husband has his winter lapas (flannel) and his summer lapas (cotton, wax cotton, Ankara fabric). A lapa often takes the place of or is used like a man would use a robe in Western culture. It is the African man's robe.

Nothing makes a young man look more cultured  and charming than sporting a lapa. Wearing a lapa demonstrates good habits, confidence in their culture/manhood, and body awareness.

​Lapas can be useful for young boys who are potty-training and aren't ready to deal with the mechanics of pulling pants up and down or buttoning/zipping closures. We can design the lapa with elastic for this purpose. 

Check out our lapa selection HERE. Lapas make great gifts, especially for Kwanza, Ramadan, Eid, birthdays, Father's Day, or just because. We have mens' lapas, boys' lapas. Lapa sets with a matching shirt. Our lapas have a draw string and pocket on the side. Send us your measurements and be ready for a quality custom designed lapa experience.
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We Stand For Justice

11/17/2020

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If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything. Our logo has been meditating for 10 years, but she had to take a stand on this. There's a lot of distraction and vampirism going on out here. Stay focused, healthy, & stand on your square.

​And here's to another 10 years of supporting and serving melanated women, families, and communities. Many small businesses don't make it past the 1st year, and we been here 10 years ya'll! But we are more than a business, we are a movement! Ubuntu!
​
#saytheirnamesremembertheirfaces
#justiceforbreonnataylor
#justice4matthewrushin
#justiceforgeorgefloyd
#standtogether

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Body Care Collection

10/30/2020

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Yo! Did u notice our logo is standing?! She been sitting in meditation mode, but we decided it was time for her to take a stand! To stand up for peace, justice, change, unity & also, it's or 10 year business anniversary. More about this in the next post!
We got something for every chakra! Which body care product would you like to try? Let us know and we'll send you a sample. We have been creating body care product for our family & the community for years. Now they are available for the public on our website. Some of these are old family recipes based off of recipes that were passed down. Some of them we created out of need. 

For example, we needed a toothpaste without fluoride that was safe for our toddlers to use, safe for them to swallow. So we did some research and started making our Diamonds & Pearls Toothpaste. Before we knew it, we were all using it and friends were asking for it too. 

As for the deodorant, I've always been a fan of the deodorant salt crystal, but this irritated Hakim's (my husband's) armpits. He has very sensitive pits. I bought many other natural deodorants for him and they all left his armpits swollen with a red rash. So, we had no choice but to do some research and create our own. And Guess what? It worked. I was holding my breath as he tried it. But no rash and he stayed fresh. Aurafresh Deodorant is gentle enough to use on many body parts. In fact, we also use it on our children.

Many of our friends called asking for a foot soak that could help with swollen ankles/feet. After 5 requests, we said sure, we can come up with something. And the Sole Glo Foot Tea was born.

I have to give my Great Aunt credit for the Glow Up Face Mask. She taught me that recipe when I was a teenager and its the one skincare regimen that I've consistently kept up. As much as I'm embarrassed to admit, I don't have a skin care routine, but I do a face/body mask every week and that is probably what has saved me. The Glow up Face Mask is not called a the glow up for nothing. 

So all of our products have a story like this, and while we've been selling them for years, we just now added them to our online store and started marketing them. Literally, from our tribe to yours with love.

Below are some Rites of Passage Institute Bodycare Products. Keep watching because there is more to come!

About our deodorant:

About our toothpaste:

For Laughs:

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Honor Your Moontime Honor Yourself

10/28/2020

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I'm excited about my period bc I got Thinx. They r period panties. No, not your ugly stained underwear that you only wear when you are on your period so u don't mess up ur pretty panties, but cute padded panties that soak up ur blood and are leak proof. When done throw them in the washer n use again, so we can b good to Mother Nature. I've been using cloth pads, so why didn't I do this sooner? I love em, especially bc im a free-bleeder--I just put on my padded panties n keep it moving. Have u tried em yet? Share ur experience. If u want 2 try em, use my discount code:
http://ref.thinxify.me/v/fireinthedark

We have to get back to a period positive culture. It is common in mainstream society to see periods as dirty, inconvenient, weakness, etc. However, this is a natural part of us. Our 1st home is a woman and if it wasn't for periods, none of us would be here. Instead of pushing through your period and acting like it's not happening, use the time to relax and listen to your body. Did you know how you feel about your period and how you honor it relates to how you experience your period (PMS, cramps, heavy, long, etc). For example, if you see your period as a staycation, chill, reflect, detox (basically a positive experience), then you are more likely to have pain-free, short, light periods. Mindset is powerful! You may have to dig deep though, some period issues can stem from how you felt when you had your 1st bleed, how your loved ones treated you. But it's not too late to set the record straight and reprogram your experience and pay it forward by celebrating your daughters first bleed, you can break the cycle and she can be off a to positive start. We have 1st Moon Bags & Girls Rites of Passage Programs. If you have a daughter who is ready for her Rites of Passage check out our program HERE.
#moontime #moontimerituals
#ilovemymoon #ilovemyperiod
#ilovemyuterus #ilovemywomb
#freebleeder
How do you honor your moontime (period)? I'm excited about my moon time bc I have pretty sage to set my sacred space. When I'm on my period I set up my chill spot. I like to smudge my chill spot to set my mind at ease. All meals, naps, phone calls, reading, journaling, etc happen in this chill spot while I'm on my moon. I literally leave a dent in the couch. Do u have a moontime ritual?
I'm excited for my period bc I've been steaming! Yoni steaming helps to make your period balanced. This means lighter, shorter, less painful periods. Enjoy your period!
Shop Our:
African Yoni Steam Herbal Blends
Custom Yoni Steam Herbal Blends
Yoni Steam Stools
Yoni Steam Pots
Virtual MoonTracking Class

Virtual Yoni Steam Party
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We Dig Crystals

10/27/2020

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We dig crystals--literally. You may know us for our crystal wrapping skills and crystal jewelry. However, our crystal jewelry starts at the earth. Well, it usually begins with us driving out to some remote cave where there is barely any sign of humankind. I don't know why, but it seems like we always end up going on the hottest day. We are always prepared though, with a cooler filled with water and food.
As a family we go crystal digging every year. We have ventured from Arkansas to along the East Coast. To say we are crystal enthusiast is an understatement. When you dig a crystal from the earth, it's usually covered in red dirt or trapped inside of a rock. It's not very beautiful. The real adventure starts once we get home and put these rocks through a series of baths to remove the grim.  We love their raw beauty, but sometimes we put them through a tumbler and polish them. There' something about a crystal that you have dug from the earth with your own hands. This experience also teaches one about the conditions in which the crystals develop. When we are on a digging site it's so purifying, you can feel the healing energy. Trust me it is not glamourous though. It's not like going to the spa. It's more like camping. Many times there are no bathrooms. We are all day in the hot sun and we get covered in clay and all kinds of things. 
Why do we do this? We have a long relationship with the earth, crystals, and healing. As wholistic healers we, Hakim (my husband) & I, use crystals for healing. Yes we make jewelry with them, but we also bath with them, put them in our garden, put them in our water, in our facial masks for body care, etc. ​​One day while digging under the hot sun, my husband leaned over and whispered, "I didn't want to buy you a diamond, I wanted to give you all the crystals and make you a ring." And he has, he has made many beautiful crystal rings for me!! I can't explain the feeling of wearing something like that. It is more than a symbol of our love, more than a piece of him, but it embodies the wonders of our Creator and all of creation. It also helps to know that he didn't have to destroy the earth or children's lives to get it! Also, wearing the crystal rings benefit my health and spirituality. So, I have to say, "Thank you King for your love and care of not just me, but our family and all of the earth."
We share our love for crystals through our products and classes. Take our Virtual Crystals 101 Class. Shop our Crystal Jewelry and Body Care Products. See Yoni Eggs HERE. Take our Yoni Egg Class HERE. Ask about our upcoming Crystal Digging Tours & you can accompany us and dig your own crystals!!
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