"I do my best because I’m counting on you counting on me.” Maya Angelou
“Friends who love you and have warmth for your creative life are the very best suns in the world.”
Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Women Who Run with the Wolves
Our experiences and stories are so deep and layered that two annual events really can't contain all that it takes to analyze and improve our relationships. Therefore, we didn't want the discussion to stop at these events. We want the discussion to continue beyond the Dancing Fire Circle & Bellydance Brunch and to invite others into it. This is the space for that! Below are the Keys to Sisterhood that are being discussed (it is a working list). These keys are based on African Womanism & Spirituality. Feel free to drop your comments, suggestions, questions, stories and more below. Rites of Passage Institute offers many opportunities to strengthen sisterhood within your own groups and with us. Check out:
Sip & Steam Party
The Journey Within
Pink Moon Bellydance
The Blessing Way
The Queen Mother Ceremony
Keys to Building Sisterhood
- Honor your mother: have a healthy relationship with your mother. Heal your mother wound. Mother yourself.
- Women need women. Acknowledge that you need other women in your life.
- Let go of any toxic thinking about women.
- Be happy for other women. Remember that you don’t have to dim someone else’s light for yours to shine brightly.
- Speak life over each other. Inspire other women to be confident about themselves.
- Be easy on yourself, so you can be easy on others
- Encouraging one another in your higher selves
- Pray for your sisters. Pray together.
- Love each other for the sake of Love/Sisterhood
- Be genuine
- Real friends don’t just comfort each other, they nurture each other. The difference between comfort and nurture is this: If there is a plant that is sick because it is kept in a dark closet, and you say soothing words to it, that is comfort. If you take that plant out of the closet and put it in the sun, water it, and talk to it, that is nurture.
- Listen to what other women have to say.
- Stand up for each other.
- Do not hold grudges.
- Minimize trauma bonding.
- Create safe space for your unfiltered truth.
- Identify your biggest needs first. Are you in school and need someone to commiserate with over exams? Are you a newlywed and need some “wife advice”? Are you a mommy with a hard-to-handle teen? What is it that you need out of your friendships? That’s where you need to start looking.
- Don’t wait until you need your support system to go about creating one.
- Reach out. Be open to people who don’t think exactly like you and who don’t act exactly like you. The loud woman with the big laugh? Just might be the girlfriend you need.
- Follow up. This is where most people fall short, because they’re afraid of being vulnerable and letting people know they’d like to make a connection. But if you want a healthy, vibrant support system, following up is a must! It lets people know you’re open for a connection and if they felt any type of spark (why this sound like dating), you’ll be good to go! But if you’re too afraid of rejection and stuck in fear, then you’ll never get the sisterhood you crave.
- Let them love you. This might be the hardest step of all, because again, it’s hard to be vulnerable in front of people for fear that they can take what they know (your secrets!) and hurt you. When I was having marital troubles last year, I didn’t want my friends to judge me silently or to roll their eyes at my petty problems. But I had to take that risk if I wanted support. And being able to cry while your friends calmly and softly tell you that everything will be okay? That is priceless.
- Keep climbing and doing your thing, but commit to this concept: I will lift while I climb.
- Courtesy in serving
- The Rights of a Sister over another sister: to greet each other with positivity, accept invitations, when she seeks counsel give it, if she is ill visit, etc
- Guard Sacred Women Only Space.