Afro Doll Party: Representation Matters!

The Afro Doll Party is another one of our recurring events that started from something small. I was at T.J. Maxx when I saw various Kenya Fashion dolls for $3 each. They were various shades of brown, with various African facial features. I was in love, but I hesitated on purchasing the dolls because all of them had b one straight hair. I’m meticulous about the children’s media that I expose my children too. If it doesn’t promote diversity, uplifting, growth, it’s hard for me to invest.  My daughter, who is a toddler, was just starting to get into dolls. She loves her afro with a fierceness that challenges a mother who sees braids as the most practical hairstyle for little girls. What messages about her kinky hair and kinky hair in general would I be sending by handing her a dark skin doll with straight hair?

The documentary Good Hair by Chris Rock flashed before my eyes, the pencil test (if a pencil can stay in your hair without falling then you have bad hair), monthly toxic burning relaxers, wigs that pull out your edges, weaves, hot combs, tons of black hair products that feed into economic injustice in the Black community because ​black people pour their money into them but very few of these companies are owned by Black people, self-hate, being told you’re not beautiful, sacred, special. I couldn’t hand that legacy to my child!
Could I?

I turned to my husband and asked him if he thought it was ok to get the doll for our daughter. He said no. I threw it in the cart anyway. When I got to the register, I gave it to the cashier and told her I wasn’t buying it. Once I got in the car, my daughter being an immature warrior princess said, “Where’s my doll?” I had no idea she’d been paying attention. I had got something for everyone, but her. My husband told me to get the doll if I wanted it. So, I ran back in the store and bought them. 

​I still wasn’t satisfied though. That night I went online and searched how to give a doll an Afro.  A plethora of videos, blogs, etc. appeared. The process looked a bit arduous. What could I do to make it more fun?  In the midst of all this doll business, I had been wrecking my brain for a way to get my daughter around other girls her age. You see she has 2 big brothers and most of my friends have boys. Therefore, she is always around boys, and trust me she holds her own, but I want her to be well-rounded. 

​A light bulb went off! The Afro Doll Party was born! I bet there are other little girls out there who would love to bring their dolls to the salon (novelty), style the doll’s hair (art/kinesthetic/creativity/fine motor skills, Cause in Effect/learning to follow directions/culture/ self-image/diversity/self-esteem), play with other girls (social skills), eat snacks, and spend quality time with a caregiver (bonding with mom, dad, etc). So many developmental domains and intelligences are covered with a culturally competent approach.  parents get to hangout, socialize, and support each other. Sounds like a Rites of Passage Learning Center Event! 

​I posted it on social media and it was an instant hit. People wanted to do it! I got a lot of interesting responses. One woman messaged me that her daughter didn’t have any African dolls. I thought that was interesting. No matter what ethnic group you belong to, living in multicultural America, why not have dolls of various ethnic groups, colors, shades, facial features, hair types? I love that we live in a country where such options are available. There’s no excuse. But I let her know that the doll did not have to be African or of African descent. Like white people don’t have Afros! 

Heck, it didn’t even have to be a doll.  Some parents had informed me that they were bringing horses! Many people posted that their daughters didn’t have any dolls and that they would have to go out and buy them.  Then I started to wonder, are dolls popular anymore? Are they going out of style? Some other person mentioned that dolls set girls up to be doormats. Another said that this is the age of electronic toys.  One mother was relieved to learn that dolls hair could be curled; her toddler daughter of various ethnicities had been complaining about her own curls and saying how her doll’s straight hair was better. Some parents mentioned that their daughters didn’t even know what an afro was…..

​Even more topics came up at the Afro Doll Party. One parent said she searched a few places for a black doll on the black side of town and couldn’t find anything except white dolls. She found that odd and was disappointed. The parents discussed how they tried to explain to their daughters what was going to happen to dolls hair. Parents brought up their own childhood memories. I realized how such a small thing created space for important dialogue.  But what I gleaned from this event was the spirit. It was magical. The girls were so excited. My daughter smiled from ear to ear the entire time. The little conversations and hugs between the girls.

My hair is my crown!

​They danced to the music and watched doll skits on You Tube (our son was the DJ). Another pro, I conversed with amazing women as I attacked the mundane task of rolling my daughter’s doll’s hair. Mission accomplished!
I’m very grateful to Down 2 Earth Natural Hair Salon in Tulsa, OK for keeping my locs luscious throughout the years, accommodating my needs as a hijabi, and letting us use their salon for the Afro Doll Party!
Currently, I’m organizing Afro Doll parties in other cities. Call me or throw your own Afro Doll Party!