Kombucha Krazy!

Lemongrass kombucha with mother at the bottom and baby floating on top

All my pregnant parents expecting girls should consider naming their daughter Kombucha! Yes, we are experiencing a kombucha craze around here. These days most of our arguments center on how long the kombucha ferments before drinking it.  We have 10 galloons continuously fermenting, but somehow my husband manages to drink 75% of the brew himself. Yes! I'm calling you out Hakim! Now, every time we go out, everyone is like, "Hakim, you are looking good. Give me some of what you got! Hakim, did you lose weight?!" 

 I just throw him a side-eye because I know that his new healthy glow is a result of him usurping my kombucha. Among my knitting projects was of course a kombucha koozie--hey, I can't have the cold weather putting the Mother to sleep thus ruining my brew! Plus, our kombucha is our family pet--yeah, it's a living breathing organism(s)! The children have stopped asking when we're going to get that cat. Then there's been this traffic of kombucha pilgrims showing up at my door with a glass jar in one hand and a dollar in the other. I can't complain; kombucha has been good to my family. 

So, what is kombucha? Sit down; this is not for the weak-hearted. Kombucha is an effervescent fermented tea originating from some monks dormitory in ancient China.  Kombucha is created when a S.C.O.B.Y. (symbiotic culture of bacteria and yeast, rhymes with Kobe as in Kobe Bryant) a.k.a "The Mother" is placed atop a room temperature brew of starter tea (1 cup), green/black tea, whatever other tea you want to add, and sugar syrup for 7-10 days. 

kombucha with koozie and towel on top

Because I'm a teacher:

SCOBY + Starter Tea + (Black/Green Tea+XTea+Sugar Syrup)= Kombucha

Not getting light-headed yet? Just look at the pictures! My girlfriend who is an avid kombucha drinker was like, "so you mean to tell me, we are drinking its (the Mother's) waste?!"  To which I respond in my Brittany Wilson (from White Chicks) voice, "Don't be a spaz, but, yes."

Why am I glorifying this fermented monstrosity?! Well, I haven't read any scientific studies or gathered any empirical evidence, but kombucha is healthy. Rumor has it that kombucha:

• detoxes & balances the body
  
• improves digestion (it's bad for digestion to drink while eating, but it's healthy to drink kombucha while eating)
  
• cleans your colon, makes you regular
  
• has vitamins (B Vitamins)
  
• makes the body alkaline
  
• prevents yeast overgrowth in the body
  
• anti-cancer
  
• removes heavy metals from the body
  
• can stop a toothache or stomach ache
  
• Part of the benefits of kombucha are the SCOBYs it produces, for uses click HERE
  

 Supplies:

• Get a Mother/SCOBY  and starter tea from a friend
  
• Do not use tap water! The Mother will DIE. Use filtered/distilled/spring water.
  
• Nylon mesh (metal mesh will interact with the tea)
  
• 2 Gallon glass container (if it has a spigot make sure the spigot is not metal) 
  
• Black and or Green Tea 
  
• Sugar (no substitutes, the sugar feeds the Mother, not much of it remains in the final beverage)
  
• Cheese cloth or towels cut into a circle to cover open mouth of 2 gallon glass container. Unlike a lid, this will allow the Mother to breath, so she won't DIE
  
• Elastic (cut, knot, use to keep cloth cover in place)
  
• Nylon ladle if your glass container doesn't have a spigot
  
• Vinegar for cleaning
  

Tips:

• Keep brew between 72-85 degree or it will DIE
  
• Prepare a SCOBY hotel
  
• Keep your brew out of the light, or the Mother will DIE
  
• The longer it ferments the more vinegary it will taste
  
• be able to identify a healthy SCOBY from a bad SCOBY

My children and I drink Kombucha, but please exercise caution and talk to your healthcare provider especially if you are dealing with liver issues, diabetes, stomach yeast, pregnancy, breastfeeding. I am a breastfeeding mother and I drink it, but I do not give it to my infant.  Till next time....

Love, Peace, & Kombucha!