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  Rites of Passage Institute

Autism vs. Neurodiversity

1/21/2015

8 Comments

 
Picture
Our sons doing art.
My son has autism. But if you told someone I said that, I would say you are a bold faced liar. I am not afraid of the word "autism." In fact, I don't believe in it. Let me back up! I don't believe in labels.  No, no, I don't believe labels are beneficial for my son ("No Crutch" Zone). 
I may inform people that my son has autism because it is the easiest way for them to understand his challenges. Labels make people feel comfortable. If they can fit you into a category, then they relax. Perfect scenario.  Someone strikes up a conversation with my son. He ignores them.
They:  a. try speaking to him in another language b. make a screwed up face c. call him a name.  However, if I lean over and whisper, "he has autism." Then they relax and give me the pity look as they become ultra polite. In fact, when we are going to big events, in which there will be 

Picture
Our son hiking with friends.
crowds, my son wears a really cool medical bracelet that says  "Autism, Gluten-Free, Dairy-Free, Phone  Number" on the inside, complementing  his Neurodiversity shirt.
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My husband and I w/our son (when he was younger) who is on the spectrum.
However, I have never told my son or his siblings that he has autism. My son is a human being, who has strengths and weaknesses like everyone else. He is sensitive to gluten, fluoride, and electromagnetic frequencies, but these things are bad for everybody! He is like that canary miners send into the caves to see if it's safe. He has taught us a more healthy and spiritual way of life. 
On a typical day, he can be found carrying his little sister around (who he calls the pretty princess), doing his chores (with an uncanny enthusiasm that I hope rubs off on his siblings), playing tricks on his brother, wrestling with his dad, riding his bike, strumming his guitar, practicing his reading, reciting poetry, watching trains on You Tube, or telling me how he is not going to brush his teeth or get dressed. 

Don't get me wrong, it's not all peaches and cream; he repeats things (in creepy voices), ducks and weaves when he hears a hand dryer in a public bathroom, is regimented with some things, and struggles with making/ keeping friends. He is a different kind of normal. We were having dinner and I asked my son a question (sometimes he answers, sometimes he doesn't). After a period of silence, my other son said, "he answered you with his mind." Of course he did! 
Picture
Giving his siblings an Arabic lesson
My son is "high functioning" with mild autism according to the professionals. They also told me that he would never potty train, talk, give eye contact, etc. They said, "Don't get your hopes up."  He was potty trained by age 4, he talks in sentences appropriate to the situation, etc.
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Greeting the waves!
Not only do I have my hopes up, but I truly believe (insh'Allah) that my son will accomplish everything he sets his mind to accomplish. He will reach his highest potential. After all isn't that our purpose?
So will we ever sit down and say, "Son, you have autism?" We don't plan on it. My son knows who he is and why he is here. Using a label doesn't validate that.

8 Comments
Jenel
1/21/2015 01:11:50 pm

Beautiful

Reply
Hakim
1/21/2015 04:19:58 pm

Just watching him has taught me so much. Lessons come when and how you least expect them sometimes. You could miss all the blessing focusing on the wrong areas.

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MyCoCreations link
1/21/2015 04:34:20 pm

I have much respect for you and your family, the way you learn from each other, teach each other and encourage each other is beautiful. Innerstanding that each of us is different in many ways and sometimes those differences cause us to seek different way to reach each other is important. Removing the "box" or rather not introducing the "box" to your son so that he has a chance to live a fulfilling life instead of one of shame or hurt is JUST BEAUTIFUL! I am glad to have met your acquaintances albeit virtual it still touches my heart all the same <3

Reply
Shemora link
1/26/2015 10:42:09 am

MyCo knowing you has been an endless resource. Thank you for the positive energy and beautiful creations you have made for our family!

Reply
Mitra
1/22/2015 01:48:28 am

So happy to learn from you!

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Shemora link
1/26/2015 10:36:48 am

We are all students in this life!

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Winnie
1/22/2015 02:58:53 am

I, too, despise labels. Our now 49 year old son went through so many growing up that I gave up trying to identify why he didn't behave like people expected him to. He was first labeled autistic, but he got "better" and since every "expert" agrees that "autistics don't get better", they had to change the label and it was changes several times as he grew up.. (Talk about self-fulfilling prophecies!) 10 years ago I learned about Sensory Integration Disorder )in a totally unrelated circumstance) and realized it came closest to matching his behavior. Biggest problem is that when a child gets a label early on, he/she is stuck with it through life. Keep your positive approach as your son matures. My prayers are with you.

Reply
Shemora link
1/26/2015 10:35:25 am

Thank you so much for sharing with me Winnie. I learn so much from people who have walked the road, but too often they are not willing to share their experiences. Every bit of encouragement helps, it's a battle every day!

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